What is love?
The poets have tried for generations to define love. Robert Frost said, “Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” William Shakespeare wrote that “love is a spirit of all compact of fire.” Lastly, Lord Alfred Tennyson defined love as “the only gold.” Poets have tried to wrap their words around such an emotion, but can only really describe it as an animated feeling that overcomes a person.
With love comes a relationship. That could be a double-edged sword in the fact that you either want to love the person that your attracted to or you fight yourself from loving that person because of who they are (i.e. sister’s boyfriend, someone who isn’t accepted in the family, etc.). Regardless, love is not something we can stop feeling for a person. We can try and we won’t succeed. It is that powerful of an emotion. As First Corinthians 13 states, “. . .above all these, love is the greatest.”
Relationships are the hardest because you open yourself to be vulnerable to someone else that you have to trust won’t hurt you. When the hurt comes, and it always does because we’re human, it stings with a burn that doesn’t go away as quickly as it would with a friend doing the same thing to you. The burn scars and you are reminded of the pain when you see the scar. Hopefully, the scar fades as time goes by and the reminder is not there all the time anymore. Love hurts you the most because of the vulnerability. You cannot fully love someone without being vulnerable. You open yourself wide and hope that the person you’re with handles you with kid gloves.
What happens when the pain and the scars build? You close down. You no longer leave yourself vulnerable for fear of being hurt again. Then you see a turn, a change, the alteration of the person after they realize that they have hurt you. You start to open back up, until your mind “looks” at the scars. An instinct hits and you shut down. You push away. You’re done. You cannot love without trust. They leave.
Days go by. You sit and you wonder why you shut down. You realize that there was no reason for the shut down except maybe pain would come soon because it was too good to be true. Something had to be amiss. Then you see that nothing was amiss. Nothing bad was going to happen. You want that person to be there. You realize your mistake, but also know how things can change to make it work.
Relationships. This is a scenario that a lot of us go through. It can even get worse than this (i.e. cheating partners, working in another State, etc.) Relationships come with problems because no relationship is perfect. Relationships are not easy to go through. You are no longer calling all the shots in your world; there is someone else to think about that is part of you. Part of you that you don’t want to lose. Part of you that you would never fathom to hurt. Part of you that makes your world better.
I guess of all the writers and poets, maybe Mark Twain said it best with, “To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.” Life is better with love in it. For as much as you hurt from love, remember it will also bring the same amount of joy. That’s the yin and yang of life.